If Only I Could Piss Rainbows and Shit Sunshine

Today! Was! A! Complete! Clusterfuck! 

Actually this entire week was kind of fucked in all manner of ways. I’ll catch up with the rest of it later on this week, but I’ll just start with what happened today.

This morning, I sat in the living room, working on my computer. It was about 10:30, MJ was also working on his computer, and it was very quiet. All of a sudden, there’s a thudupstairs. I pause, look up, go on with what I’m doing. Another thud. Then another. And then it sounded like someone was trying to jackhammer their way into our living room. MJ went upstairs to knock on the door to see what was going on, and of course, no one would open the door. The lady who lives next door to the Fucktards poked her head out to see what was going on, and then hightailed it out of fucking Dodge. I mean, Elvis left the fucking building, so no witness, fuckyouverymuch. MJ bangs on the Fucktards door and asks them what’s going on. Fucky Jr yells back at him to “get the fuck away from my door, mother fucker, you don’t know who the fuck you’re messing with, I’m going to blow your fucking head off.

MJ comes back downstairs and in the mean time, whatever is going on up there gets WORSE, and MJ calls 911. When the cops show up, they actually reprimand him for calling it in as a domestic disturbance instead of a noise complaint. I’m fucking sorry, but it was MORE than just a fucking noise complaint. The cocksucker threatened to KILL MJ, and somebody up there was destroying that place. It wasn’t just a little fucking noise. Give me a fucking break.

The cops go upstairs and the Fucktards let them right in. And proceeded to DENY they did anything. They claimed that MJ went upstairs, banging on their door and wanted them to come out and FIGHT. ???? WHAT.THE.FUCK!  They talk with them for maybe 20 minutes before they come back down here to talk to us. They tell us right away that the guy up there is crazy. We agree that we knew that already, and then as they are talking about his mental status, it becomes apparent that they are talking about Fucky JUNIOR, not his dad. Apparently, he’s “involved with the court system” and their mental health department, and he actually told the cops “he didn’t know WHAT he was liable to do”, and their impression was that the guy would cut your throat as soon as look at you.

This was the assessment of two police officers, who had access to Fucky Jr’s records and shit, and knew stuff we didn’t know. They felt the guy was capable of actually KILLING us, but did NOTHING about it. They seemed to believe us when we said that whatever was going on up there happened before MJ went upstairs, and NOT at our instigation, and sympathized with us, but basically didn’t do jack and/or shit about it. We’re supposed to just sit down here, hoping that WE don’t do something to set the nut humper off, so that he doesn’t try to fucking KILL us.

The cops told us that they think they’ll be moving out soon. They said they were looking for a place “out of state”, and all of their stuff was packed up. I said “So what? It’s been packed for TWO years.” Apparently, the SUV that they JUST got in November, and have been parking in a very annoying spot across from the driveway, was repo’d this morning. And that is supposed to indicate that they are having financial problems and are probably in foreclosure. ??? I can only fucking HOPE they are being tossed out on their asses, but they only had that SUV a few months. I don’t think he would have qualified for the loan if it had been on his credit report that they were behind on a mortgage, and also, I think he “bought” it because they were going on a trip out of town and didn’t want to pay to rent another car, since they wasted the money last time by not going anywhere. I doubt they made a single additional payment on it after they got it.

The police suggested that we never knock on their door again and to just call them right away, which is the exact opposite thing we’ve been told previously. We’re supposed to try to ask them nicely to “be quiet” before involving the cops. I did take a moment to ask them if I would get arrested were I to get out my bagpipes and practice them next time it happened. They laughed and said no, but did I really want to “poke them with a stick”. Why, yes, Officer, I would like to poke them with a stick, a very sharp stick, right in their fucking eye sockets.